The Biggest Proof
by Quintessence88
Summary: Just a pill and the pain will stop. She said herself instead she took many more. She swallowed closing her beautiful eyes and wiping away that tear that succeeded to fall along her cheek. - Set during 3x13 and after
1. Chapter 1

**Like I promised to my "fans" here I am posting the first chapter of this story. I want to underline that I wrote these chapters before finding out the spoilers about season 4 on tumblr… so yes I'm a witch! LOL**

**Enjoy and reviewwwww!**

Sorry doesn't even begin to describe how am I feeling"

As soon as Annie left her office Joan opened the drawer and pulled out the bottle. She turned it around in her hands feeling the heart bleeding.

After all that happened, after all she did for Annie, she was done but that didn't mean it hurt less.

_Just a pill and the pain will stop. _She said herself instead she took many more. She swallowed closing her beautiful eyes and wiping away that tear that succeeded to fall along her cheek.

It had been crazy weeks: the issues with Arthur about his unofficial nominee like American ambassador in China, Lena Smith's scandal, Annie's travel to Russia and her capture, Arthur's suspects about her and Seth.

Too much to handle, too much pressure and at the moment, after the conversation which determined the end of the relationship with her best operative, Joan was falling apart.

She took her bag and coat and came up to the seventh floor. Being trapped in the elevator made her head spinning, she was feeling to suffocate.

_Keep breathing, keep breathing, you'll arrive at the floor soon_ she tried to calm herself down but the oxygen didn't seem to be willing to reach her lungs. She was a well-trained agent of CIA who couldn't panic in a damn elevator!

Once she reached the floor she took a deep breath and put on her poker face heading to Arthur's office.

"Hey, you ready to go home?" she asked softly

"I'm going to take a cab" it was his answer "And this is where you can reach me for the next few days." He added giving her a piece of paper

"The Mayflower?" she closed the door realizing the point "Why are you staying in a hotel?"

"Oh, it's just for a few days," he said without looking at her "I just need to clear my head."

"Because I spoke up in the drone room?"

"Oh please, you know what I'm talking about."

"Arthur, please don't overreact" she walked over to him

"That's exactly why I'm doing this, because I don't want to overreact. I don't want to try and hash this out while I'm angry."

"But I ended it with Seth"

"The fact that you had to end it is the problem."

"I really don't think I can take you leaving right now," she added incapable of looking him in the eyes.

"We'll get through this," he said squeezing her arm "I just need a little distance."

She was losing him as she was losing the strength to hold back the tears. Her head started spinning again.

"Arthur, wait." She turned to face him, her hands were shaking "There's something I need to tell you."

Her husband looked at her waiting for her to say something.

"I… I…" she stuttered before blacking out


	2. Chapter 2

2

Arthur took her in his arms a second before she hit the floor.

"Joan, oh God, wake up! Honey wake up!" he shook her gently but she didn't respond "Midge!" he shouted

"Yes Sir"

"Joan's sick, call the pilot, I want the helicopter ready to leave in 10 minutes"

"Yes Sir"

"Everything's gonna be okay honey" he whispered to his wife while they were flying over Langley directed to Washington "You're gonna be fine"

Minutes seemed hours when Arthur was sitting in the waiting room without getting any news. He couldn't keep his worry under control, he was getting crazy, that waiting was exhausting: what happened to his wife? They were talking and a second after she collapsed to the ground. He run a hand through the hair, he couldn't believe that it was really happening: after all the matter between her and Seth Newman he was mad and just wanted to take the distance but now…

"Arthur Campbell?" the doctor asked

"It's me"

"Your wife had a blackout as a consequence of a drugs intoxication"

"Oh God"

"She was treated with activated charcoal, she's resting now"

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"She will but she run a high risk in her conditions…"

"What conditions?"

"She's pregnant"

"Excuse me, what?"

"I see you didn't know it"

"I… I didn't indeed. And the baby is fine?"

"Yes, it's incredible but the baby's fine, a fighter"

"Just like the mother was" he passed a hand on his face "How long is she… ?"

"Not much, just few weeks, maybe she didn't know it either"

"Got it. Can I see her?"

"Sure. This way"

Arthur Campbell, the powerful man of CIA, was watching his wife sleeping and for the first time he felt a pain in the chest. Her blonde hair were scattered on the pillow, she was so tiny and pale in that bed.

How could he not see the signs? He noticed she kept disappearing and wasn't herself anymore but didn't imagine that, he stupidly thought of an affair, that she was cheating on him.

He took a seat next to the bed and grabbed her little cold hand in his. Joan was pregnant, she was pregnant with his baby and he risked to lose them both… he sighed and kissed her hand. He'd have liked she talked to him, she opened up with him, his husband and not with… but how could he pretend transparency from her when he didn't do as well? He was the only one to blame for that relapse: she was under pressure, lonely and misunderstood and he didn't help her at all, he just made things worse.

Arthur loved his wife more than anything and it'd always have been that way no matter their fights, misunderstandings or whatever, she was the safe port where he – the navy boy – always wanted to come back.

He caressed her face brushing some gold locks away, she was beautiful, she always was.

"Oh Joan, forgive me" he whispered kissing her knuckles "I haven't been the husband you deserve but I'll do my best, I promise, for you and the baby"

Annie and Auggie arrived at Georgetown Hospital as soon as they found out what happened: nobody knew the real reason but all agency did know Joan was hospitalized.

They knocked the door to get Arthur's attention, they didn't want to disturb but Joan wasn't only their boss but a dear friend, at least still for one of them.

"Annie, Auggie" he raised the gaze from his wife

"We came as soon as possible" Auggie said "How's she?"

"She'll be better soon. She just needs to rest"

"What happened?" Annie asked

"Joan had a blackout in my office"

Auggie sighed "I'm so sorry Arthur, if there's something we can do…"

"Anything thanks, but I'm sure she'll be happy to see you once she wakes up"

"We brought coffee, it's going to be a long night"

"Thanks but there's no need for you to stay, go home and get some rest"

"No, we don't leave you alone" Auggie stated "Right, Annie?"

"Yes, we're not going anywhere" she smiled

"I don't know what to say guys, thanks"  
"We wait outside leaving you some privacy"

Arthur nodded and came back into the room.

Annie and Auggie were sipping their coffee in silence, Annie could feel the unspoken tension between her and her friend and she knew well what that was about: Joan. She told Auggie their last conversation put the word "end" on the relationship with their boss and at the beginning he didn't ask for details but now they were sitting in the hospital's waiting room because of Joan and he wanted to know more.

"If you've something to tell me, just do it"

"Is it so irreparable between you and Joan?"

"She said she's done, I guess yes"

"What did you tell her? Joan cares about you"

"It's what everybody keeps telling me but facts showed differently"

"What you mean?"

"When Jai died in a car bomb she let me get resigned, when I got thrown into a Russian prison she let me rot"

"That's not true Annie! She did all she could to save you, we all did what we could. Did you really told her that?"

"Yeah" she sighed

"I'm not surprised she told you she's done"

"What's your side?"

"Usually yours but this time you weren't fair"

"Auggie…"

"Annie listen to me. When Lena shot you and you were accused of betrayal, Joan was the only person who believed in you – apart me of course – and I wouldn't have been capable of proving your innocence without her and when Lena came to the hospital to end on you she saved you, if I was alone there you'd be dead now"

"Nobody told me that"

"Because you were too taken with your revenge's plan to listen to people"

Annie run a hand through her hair feeling guilty.

"Joan let you get resigned because she thought it was the best thing for you Annie, she always wanted the best for you"

"And you? What do you know?"

"Because I know her and even if she seems to be so cold and indifferent, she's not"

"I've been a bitch, okay?"

"It's not to me you've to say that"

"But I had my reasons though…"

"Yes you had but if you want to fix things this is your chance, maybe the only one you have"

"I'll take in mind"  
"Come here Walker" he opened his arms "It's gonna be fine"

"I hope so" she snuggled up to him

They stayed like that sleeping in each other arms and waiting for a good tomorrow. Living a life so uncertain and having a job so dangerous and tricky they could only count on people they love, on friends, on each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**To celebrate Kari's baby bump at the Upfronts here the 3****rd**** chapter… enjoy! **

3

The next morning, when Joan opened her eyes she found her husband asleep with the head on her bed, their hands still entwined… where was she? She had a moment of blank then remembered being carried to the hospital and been given something to drink, she must have been fallen asleep then.

Joan shifted emitting a sob, her stomach hurt.

"Hey, you're awake, how are you feeling?" Arthur raised his head and looked at her concerned

"I'm fine" she said with a wince of pain

"Liar"

"Fine, everything hurts"

"I'm going to call the nurse, I'll be right back" he stood up

"No, don't leave me"

"Okay, I won't go anywhere" he caressed her face

"What happened?"

"You had a drugs intoxication"

"Oh Arthur, I was about to tell you…"

"Shh, it's okay. We'll get through this together, you're not alone"

"Thanks" Joan brought his hand to the lips

"There's something else you need to know…"

Joan gave him a puzzled look

"You're pregnant"

"I am what?"

"Doctor told me when you were asleep, it's a miracle the baby is fine"

"Arthur I didn't know it, I…"

"I know" he reassured her "I know you'd have never hurt the baby"

"I can't believe it!" her eyes became watery "I can't be pregnant"

"Joan, honey it's unexpected and it's happening in a very hard moment but we'll make it work"

"What if we can't?"

"We will. Trust me"

"You know when we decided not to have children I thought it was the best decision but…"

"A part of you always wished to have a baby"

"Yes but not this way" tears were falling silently along her cheeks

"Unfortunately we can't choose the moment," he said wiping them away with his thumb "This is what we have"

"I don't know if I can make it Arthur" she said shaking her head

"You're shocked, you had a very difficult night. Let's not think about it now and I need to call the nurse now"

Joan nodded and Arthur left the room.

The feeling she had in the elevator seemed to come back, the anxiety was strangling her, pure panic.

She couldn't have that baby, she was psychologically and emotionally weak, no doctor would have agreed about a pregnancy in that moment. There was only another option but… tears were blurring her sight, she couldn't think straight, she felt so tired.

Few minutes later Arthur came back with a nurse who checked Joan's vital signs. She recomposed herself before their coming, they didn't want anybody to see her like that, she was used to keep the pain inside burying it in the deep of her heart, after all old habits die hard. She stayed still like a salt's statue, incapable of any reaction, she answered questions the nurse posed but anything more.

Arthur noticed his wife's change, her closure, he knew her so well not to be worried. He was so scared of losing her he didn't think about how the baby news would have affected her. Joan was an amazing woman, strong, smart, independent and so beautiful and those were the reasons why he left Gina for her because she embodied everything he loved in the opposite sex and watching her falling apart like that was killing him inside.

After fixing the drip-feed, the nurse left saying the doctor would have checked her again during his patients visits, Joan simply nodded.

"Joan talk to me please, tell me what's passing through your mind"

"I can't, you'd hate me"

"I could never do such thing, I love you!"

She bit her lower lip "I can't have this baby, I'm sorry" she started crying again

Arthur watched the desperation in her eyes and understood it wasn't just a worry of hers, she was telling him she couldn't keep the baby because of her psychological situation. Why was that happening to them? If that was a proof, it was too hard to ride out. He felt tears forming in his eyes and turned away not to look at her… she was right, he was hating her. The rage he felt running through his veins was almost uncontrollable, he wanted to destroy everything in that damn room!

_Knock. Knock._

"Hello Joan," Seth greeted at the door "Arthur"

"What are you doing here?" Arthur asked coldly

"I just came to visit Joan, to see if she's okay. I was worried after…"

"She is fine!" he felt the anger grew and grew

"Arthur…"

"Joan don't!" he shut her up "Let's get out of here Seth, please"

Arthur almost pushed the man out of the room and faced him.

"Arthur listen…"

"I do not want to listen!" he hissed "Don't push your luck too much Seth Newman, don't make me become the man I don't want to be"

"She's here because of an overdose, isn't she?"

"This is none of your business! She's **my** wife and it's my job to take care of her"

"I saw how much you took care of her…"

It was a matter of seconds, Seth didn't even see it coming, Arthur punched him in the face.

"Arthur!" Annie and Auggie – who just arrived from the cafeteria – blocked their boss

Seth stood up cleaning his broken lip "You don't deserve her!"

Arthur jerked but Auggie hold him firmly "Go away Seth! You've been lucky enough for today"

"Mister Newman please" the girl said

Seth turned over heading to the exit without looking back.

"Sir, what happened?" Annie asked

"Nothing"

"That wasn't nothing to me"

Arthur looked at her with a cold gaze which didn't accept any reply and came back to Joan followed by them.

"Hello Joan"

"Hey, it's so good to see you" she said smiling

"I'd like to say the same" Auggie joked

"They spent the night in the waiting room, they didn't want to leave" Arthur added

"Thanks, it was so nice of you guys"

"Sir, why don't you go home and take a shower? We'll stay with Joan"

"Yeah I think it's a good idea"

He left the room without even looking at his wife, something was wrong, Annie noticed.

"So how are you, boss?" Auggie asked

"I've been better… Annie, I didn't expect you here"

The girl shrugged her shoulders smiling "I know, here I am instead. I'm sorry for what happened to you"

"No need to be sorry, I'll be fine"

Annie looked at her directly in the eyes, Joan seemed so strong, so untouchable but she was suffering, she could see that… her eyes were red and puffy, she looked exhausted. Annie wondered what was really going on: Arthur who punched Mr. Newman, Joan who cried, it was all weird.

"If you don't mind I'd like to rest a bit guys"

"No problem, we'll be outside if you need us" Annie said guiding her friend out the door

Joan laid down putting a hand on her belly, she was carrying Arthur's baby and God only knew how much she wished that would have happened but her relapse was a clear sign she couldn't take care of herself and she could have never done with a baby.

She had no choice, it was what she kept thinking wondering if she would have ever been capable of forgiving herself…


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back with a new chapter! Enjoy! **

4

After 48 hours of monitoring and drip-feeds Joan was dismissed.

She and Arthur barely talked each other, they were on a break point: she already lost her balance and herself and now she was losing her husband because of the baby.

Arthur gave her some days off but she refused, she needed to keep her mind busy and working was the best thing to do. She couldn't stand being alone all day and his silences once he was home, it'd have driven her crazy!

At the agency they only said she had a stroke, anything serious and Arthur took care of making his wife's case history disappear… anybody needed to know what really happened.

Joan kept going to the group sessions but she felt as if she was lying to them and to herself omitting her pregnancy and the problems she was having about that with her husband. She was suffering like hell, the idea of losing Arthur was the most painful of all, he was the love of her life, her one and only, how would she have survived without him?

"Joan wait"

"Seth"

"How are you?"

"I've been better"

"Since that day at hospital we didn't have a moment to talk"

"About that, I'm sorry about Arthur's behavior"

"It's not your fault"

"It is, we shouldn't have met secretly or maybe we shouldn't have met out of the agency at all"

"Don't say so. I'm worried about you Joan, let's go taking a coffee please, it'll be the last time I promise"

She hesitated a moment, she knew she wouldn't have gone but her loneliness and pain overcame her, she needed to talk to someone

"Okay let's go"

She told her secretary she would have been out for the next hour and to call her if something important came up, then she left feeling guilty.

They went to their usual spot, a diner not so far from Langley, and seated on a secluded table to avoid intrusive looks.

Joan was playing with her rings, she was nervous and aware she didn't have to be there and if Arthur found out…

"Ready to order?" the waitress asked

"Yes, two black coffees please"

"No, a tea for me please"

"Okay, I'll be right back"

Seth gave her an astonished look, he knew her well, she'd have never refused caffeine without a reason.

"Don't look at me like that" she said sadly

"What's going on?"

She lowered her gaze looking for the strength to tell him the truth "I'm pregnant"

"You are… you're pregnant?"

"Yes"

"And Arthur knows it?"

"Of course he knows"

"What's the problem then?"

The waitress interrupted their conversation bringing their orders and left the bill.

Joan put the tea bag in the teapot watching the water changing color, losing her thoughts in that image, then poured herself a cup of the amber-colored liquid. Seth kept staring at her, he loved that fragile and beautiful woman right in front of him, he'd have wanted to protect her but it wasn't his call, not anymore and now she was pregnant with another man, her husband, there would have never been any chance for them again. They stayed there without talking, sipping their beverages for a while, it was her to break the silence.

"I can't have this baby"

"Why?"

"Because I'm falling apart and you know better than anyone else. Arthur barely talks to me since when I was still at the hospital, if I get an abortion he'll never forgive me"

"Oh Joan"

"I don't know what to do Seth" her voice trembled "I can't lose him"

He could sense all the love she felt for her husband, her fear and desperation and that was terribly painful for Seth Newman, but he buried that pain and tried to be the friend she needed.

"You'll make things work Joan, I know you and whatever decision you make, you'll always be able to count on me"

"Thanks but you know I shouldn't"

"Not only what we should do is the right thing for us"

"I've to go now"

"Joan…"

"No Seth, you said this was the last time, I can't keep lying to my husband, our situation is already critical"

"I understand"

"Thanks for being the great friend you are"  
"My pleasure"  
"Bye"

"Bye"

Seth watched the woman he loved walking away from him. She'd have met her again at the group sessions but it wouldn't have been the same… Arthur Campbell was a lucky asshole! He didn't deserve her just like he told him at the hospital, Joan was precious, she needed to be loved and understood, she needed a completely different kind of man by her side.

He paid the bill and left the diner, maybe the situation wasn't so hopeless like he thought…

**Later that day…**

Joan came back to an empty house as she expected, Arthur stayed at the office longer instead, probably because he didn't want to meet her and that got her down more than what she already was.

She prepared herself a sandwich only because she had to eat something in her conditions. She looked at the bottle of wine in the fridge and sighed: no wine, no coffee, no husband. What else would she have had to quit?

Eating absently she thought of her meeting with Seth and the sense of guilt overwhelmed her: there was nothing between them but she couldn't meet a friend just for venting, why? Why did everything have to be so hard and complicated in her life? Tears stung her eyes and she let them fall otherwise she could do something she'd have regretted after…

She felt so lonely, so abandoned from the man who promised to love and honor her for the rest of their life, in good and in bad times, in sickness and in health. Did those words still have a meaning to him? Or was he just blinded by fury? Joan didn't think a baby would have been so important to Arthur, she was the one who wanted to become a parent not him but now everything seemed so different.

She went upstairs and changed in her satin nightie before slipping into bed. She didn't care how late he came back home she'd have stayed awake waiting for him.

It was 11.30 pm when she heard his car parking on the walkway and prepared herself for facing her husband.

"Hello Arthur"

"I didn't expect you to be awake"

"I know, it's the reason why I am, we need to talk"

"Not now, I'm tired"

"You're not really talking to me since days, maybe weeks so you do now!"

"What do you want me to say, huh? You decided you want to get an abortion and I can't do anything to stop you"

She didn't expect him to be so blunt. The word "abortion" was still echoing in her mind, a shiver run along her back…

"I didn't make any decision"

"Really? Because after what you told me at the hospital I didn't hear you say anything contrary"

"I want this baby Arthur! But I can't have it!"

"It's not true"

"How can you tell me that after all you know? How can you assume I'm lying about something so important to me, to us?" her voice was trembling but she was determined not to cry in front of him

"Because I know you Joan, you're a fighter, you've always been. You had down moments, maybe harder than other people but you've always gotten through of them"

"This is not about being a fighter. Do you know what baby blues is? A child is a serious matter, you can't give it back if it's too hard to handle!"

"So this is the reason why you're worried?"

"And you are not? Your wife had a relapse and was also hospitalized and you're not worried? What did I become for you? Just a uterus?"

"You're overreacting!"

"Something that you only can do, don't you?"

"Joan please"

"You know what I tell you, just do what you want!"

She stepped out of bed heading to the closet, she took her yoga pants and a sweater.

"Where are you going?"

"It's none of your business!"

"The hell it is!"

Arthur tried to block her but she jerked and run away storming out of home, when he managed to reach the walkway she already left with her car.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 is up! Enjoy and review! **

5

Joan was so upset she couldn't breathe and the more she couldn't do it the more she pushed the gas pedal zipping through Washington's streets in her black BMW.

Her i-Phone kept ringing and she kept rejecting the calls, Arthur's calls, she just wanted to be as far as possible from him. She married a man who not only didn't understand her at all but he wasn't even trying… how could he become like that? Because he wasn't the man she had met years before for sure.

Maybe it was hormones' fault or maybe she was just exhausted but tears started lining her cheeks again, no sobs, simple pain turned into water.

Never like before she did wish to swallow a pill and make the pain disappear but she didn't have them and in any case she couldn't.

Without realizing Joan found herself parking in front of Auggie's apartment, he was the only one she could really trust and even she wasn't the kind of person who asked for help or let people help her, she knew she wouldn't have made it alone, not that time.

_Knock. Knock._

"Auggie, it's Joan please open up"

"Joan what are you doing here? Are you okay?"

"No I'm not okay" she sobbed and he hugged her

"Come in"

Auggie went to kitchen to make an infusion for both of them while Joan was curled up on the couch. He couldn't see her but knew she must be very shaken to go to him so late and after all she had been through the last period he was worried.

"Here your cup"

"Thanks" she smiled "Sorry if I came here at this hour, I shouldn't…"

"Don't worry" he touched her shoulder "if you're here I'm sure you've your reasons"

"I… I didn't know where else to go and you're the only one I can trust"

"True" he sipped his infusion "What's going on?"

She wiped the tears away trying to speak  
"Hey don't cry, everything's gonna be alright"

"I'm not so sure anymore"

"It must be a very serious matter then"

Her phone rang again and she shut it down "It is" she added

"I notice, who was on the phone? Arthur?"

"Yeah"

"You want to tell me what's happening between you two? You're acting so weird since when you were at the hospital"

Joan turned the cup around in her hands sighing "I'm pregnant"

_Silence_. Auggie waited for her to continue.

"Arthur wants me to keep the baby but I told him I can't. No matter how much I want this baby, I…" she didn't know how to continue or if doing it or not.

"You…?" he encouraged her

"Can I trust you, right? Promise you won't tell anybody, not even Annie, what I'm about to tell you"

"I promise"

"Years ago I had drugs addiction problem and weeks ago I had a relapse. This is the reason why I don't wanna keep the baby because my situation is already very critical and having a baby in this conditions now, I…"

"I'm so sorry Joan" he squeezed her hand "I understand your point and I also guess Arthur disagrees"

"Arthur doesn't understand, he's not even trying, he stopped talking to me since when I told him and tonight we had a bad fight"

"And you ran away from home"

"Yeah, it's not my style you know me, you know I'm the one who faces situations but this pregnancy seems to change everything in both Arthur and I"

"I didn't imagine you two wanted a baby"  
"We decided not to have children because of our job but a part of me always wanted to become a mother"

"If so what don't you try?"

"What if I fail? It's not something you can allow to happen"

"See? You wouldn't allow to happen, it's what you said. I don't know anybody who could be a better mother than you"

She made a face

"Okay you're strict sometimes" he added "But you're a great person and then if you don't try you'll never know"

"Oh Auggie"

His cordless rang saying the name of the caller out loud _Arthur Campbell, Arthur Campbell_

"Don't tell him I'm here"

"Joan…"

"Please"

"Hello Sir"

"_Hi Auggie, is my wife there?" _his voice was full of worry and maybe fear

Auggie took a moment before answering "Yeah she's here"

"_Oh thank God, I'll be there soon"_

"Sir, if you allow me, it's better if she comes back home of her own free will"

"I don't want to come back home" she shouted

"_You heard? I need to go and get her"_

"Sir wait, she can spend the night here, I'll sleep on the couch"

"No Auggie"

"Auggie, give me the phone please" Joan said gently and she moved to another room

"What do you want Arthur?" she asked coldly

"_What do I want?" _he yelled_ "You practically escaped from home in the middle of the night, kept rejecting my calls, you drove me insane! I was so damn worried..."_

"Ah so you're worried now"

"_What does it mean?"_

"It means that I've to disappear to make you worry about me and how I feel"

"_That's not true"_

"It is Arthur, I thought you loved me but maybe you don't anymore, you're so full of rage and grudge and not only because of the baby. Maybe it's better if we take some time to reflect"

"_Are you leaving me?" _his voice was broken

"I just need some time"

"_Joan don't do it, I love you"_

"Bye Arthur" she hung up

She came back to Auggie passing him the cordless "Can I stay here for the night? I promise I'll leave tomorrow morning"

"You can stay all the time you want"

"Thanks Auggie, you're such a good friend"

"Someone has to take care of you and this little one" he smiled "And now let's put you in bed, I'm going on the couch"

"There's no need you can sleep with me" she sensed him hesitate "It's okay Auggie"

"Fine, let's go to bed then. It's going to be a long day tomorrow"

"Yeah"

Tossing and turning Joan couldn't stop thinking of what she did, she made her husband believe she was leaving him but if that was the only way to make him reason, it had to be so.

She caressed her belly as if she wanted to reassure the little creature inside her, she couldn't lie she already loved that baby like she loved the father… That was the biggest proof she had to deal with for sure.


	6. Chapter 6

6

The morning after Joan woke up early and waited for Arthur to go to Langley: she knew her husband's schedule well enough to know he'd have left at 7 am as usual.

Once she was home, she took a shower and changed her clothes before packing her bags. She watched the unmade bed, cluttered sheets… _He must have had a hard sleeping _she thought _just like me_. She moved to his side and grabbed the pillow to smell his cologne, she missed him so much but had to try to be strong and not to give in.

She took her bags and prepared herself for a hell of a day.

**At Langley…**

After the briefing about new operations, Joan was in her office taking care of some paperwork when Annie knocked.

"Come in"

"Hey Joan"

"Annie" she said distantly

"Can we talk?"

"You are already in my office so sure"

Annie was walking back and forth twisting her hands. It was the first time Joan saw her like that, she was uncomfortable and nervous.

"Annie?"

"Yes, sorry. Lately we didn't have a moment to talk and I wanted to say I'm sorry! Sorry for all I said the night you were hospitalized, I didn't mean to, I was mad and… Auggie told me everything you've done for me, you didn't deserve my words"

"Did Auggie also tell you that? That I didn't deserve your words?"

"He did but it was my decision to come here and apologize"

"I understand"

"Joan…"

"Apologies accepted"

An awkward silence fell between the two women.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Annie asked

"Only your job. You're dismissed"

"Okay"

Annie left and Joan sighed, she had to keep the point even if her heart melted hearing Annie's apologies. Too much happened since their fight and she couldn't worry about that too, she had more important problems to deal with. She kept working without intermission until lunch time when her husband burst into her office.

"We need to talk"

"Hello to you too"

"I don't wanna do this here, let's go out for lunch"

"Arthur no. Did you get what I told you last night? I need some time"

"And I need you!"

His words hit her so hard she held her breath unconsciously.

"Joan please"

"You should respect my will, you're not making things easier"

"I don't care! Spending the night alone was a nightmare! I can't stay without you"

Joan passed a hand through her blonde locks without answering.

"Okay so I'll tell you what I need now and you won't shut me up" he admonished her but when he was about to speak, Beth, Joan's secretary, knocked

"Joan we've a problem, we need you" she said and left

"I'm sorry Arthur"

Arthur looked at his wife walking away and closed the door behind her. He was frustrated and sad but didn't feel the rage anymore. After their last call and Joan's refusal to come back home, he spent the night thinking of what a great asshole he had been, how he kept making mistakes pushing her away always more and the baby… he didn't want to lose neither of them but how? How could he fix things and convince his wife to take it? He didn't know, he wished he did but he didn't.

It was a very long and busy day and Joan felt exhausted, all she wanted to do was coming back home… yeah home but not _her home_. She thought of the bags in her car, it was official, she was staying at Auggie's place for a while, the time she needed to clear her head and decided what to do.

Before leaving, she stopped by Auggie's office.

"Auggie"

"Joan, I was about to come to you. Annie and I are going to Allen's for a drink, will you join us?"

"No thanks, it's better if only you two go, I'm not the soul of the party and just need to be alone"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

"Annie told me about your conversation today and it didn't go very well"

"Auggie…"

"Why Joan? You care about her"

"I do but I've other issues to think about and you know it. If she hurt me? Yes, she did but a lot happened since that day. I accepted her apologies, I don't think I can do more for now"

"Okay, I understand. Well these are my keys," he said giving them to her "Please make yourself at home"

"Thanks for everything"

"You're welcome, see you later"

"Okay bye"

"Bye"

When Joan left Langley her husband's car was still parked in his parking lot. He'd have stayed at work as much as he could for sure, she knew him good enough to know he didn't want to come back to an empty and lonely house where he wouldn't have found her.

She headed to a Chinese restaurant, not so distant from Langley, where she and Arthur usually ordered dinner after work. She drove absently thinking of the day, of Arthur's words and what he wanted to tell but couldn't: would it have made her give in? She didn't know it.

The gynaecologist called that noon saying she got her test reports – Joan and the baby were fine – and she'd have waited for her call once Joan made a decision about carrying pregnancy or not.

Lost in her thoughts she parked in front of the restaurant without even noticing as she didn't notice someone was following her…

Joan was checking the menu uncertain of what to order when someone touched her shoulder.

"Joan, what are you doing here?"

"Seth" she said surprised "I could ask you the same"

"I always come here after work when I don't feel like cooking, that is very often" he joked

"Yeah I and… I do as well"

"Are you ordering take-away?"

"Yes, that was my idea"

"Well now we're both here, let's eat together, doing it alone is not nice"

"Seth I…" she hesitated

"Oh maybe you were ordering for you and Arthur, I didn't think of that"

"No, I was ordering for myself only"

_Silence._

"Is everything okay? Let's sit, Chen just found me a table. Thanks Chen" he smiled at the waiter

"Okay" she sighed

"Something to drink?" Chen asked

"I guess water for you, right?" Seth asked gently and she nodded "So a bottle of water and a bier, thanks"

The waiter left giving them some minutes to choose their meal. Seth was staring at her hidden behind the menu but she caught him and laughed shaking her head.

"Seth Seth"

"What?"

"I saw you"

"I know." He lowered his gaze before asking "How are you?"

"The truth?"

"Always"

"I asked Arthur some time, I'm staying at Auggie's"

"Really? Yesterday you were so scared of losing him"

"I still am but I've to do what's the best for me"

"That's my Joan, I mean the Joan I knew" he corrected himself

"Ready to order?" Chen came back with his notepad bringing their beverages. Perfect timing.

"Sure, vegetables rolls and vegetarian low mein noodles for me" Joan said

"Sesame wontons, chicken noodles and chow mein pork"

"Thanks"

Seth poured her a glass of water and one of bier for himself.

"You were saying…?"

"Anything important" she placed the napkin on her legs

"It is Joan but your decision was very brave, I'm proud of you"

"Why?"

"Because I care"

"I know you Seth, it's not just caring"

"Yeah you know me…"

"What about you? What's up on State department?"

"Nothing special, the usual. Not always there's a drone to release" he teased

"Yeah, that was a mistake"

"Arthur's mistake, not yours"

"He just believed in the intel Annie brought"

"Speaking of that, how are things between you two doing?"

"We had a bad fight the day of the drone's release, then many things happened, she just apologized today"

"Got it"

Chen brought their meals and they ate in silence focused on their own thoughts.

Seth kept stealing a glance at her, she was so beautiful, maybe it was the pregnancy, he didn't know it but he couldn't take his eyes off her and for a moment he wished with all himself that baby was his, how would their life have been? How would it have gone if he didn't lose her? If she married him instead Mr. Asshole-Campbell?

His gaze fell on the sparkling _rock_ she still wore on her finger, a symbol of the materialism her husband could offer, too focused on his career and job instead of her.

"Seth I think I should go"

"You didn't finish your dinner"

"I'm tired" she said taking her wallet

"Don't, I'm paying"

"Thanks" she smiled standing up

"Let me take you to the car"

"There's no need"

"I want to. I'll be right back" Seth told Chen

They left the restaurant wrapped in their coats, Virginia's winter was very cold and the wind was slapping their face without mercy.

"Here it is"

"I had a good time with you tonight"

"Me too Seth but you know we…"

"I know" he shut her up caressing her cheek and brushing one of her gold locks from her face.

Her eyes so beautiful, so clear, enchanted him as if he was victim of a spell, her spell, that feeling he always had when she was around, when her perfume hit his nostrils, when a simple of her words could make his day. He couldn't resist, he cut the distance between them and kissed her lips doing what he wished since long time.

**I wrote last scene between Joan and Seth while I was listening "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice, I found perfect the song to describe the atmosphere of the moment…  
I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will review! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Here I am with a new chapter! Enjoy and review!**

Joan warded him off, a shocked look on her face "What the hell are you doing Seth?"

"I'm sorry, I…"

"I knew this wasn't a good idea, how could you…? I don't wanna know it!" she yelled "I love my husband and if you thought you could take advantage of the situation you're not the man I knew anymore"

"Joan let me explain"

"No! Stay away from me!" she shut the car's door

Joan left him there, in the middle of the street, thinking how stupid and rash his gesture has been. She drove as fast as possibly to reach Auggie's place, she needed a shower, she needed to wash that horrible sensation she felt on her skin. What if someone has seen them…? Many agents hung out at that restaurant, what if someone told Arthur…? He'd have never forgiven her even if she warded Seth off.

When she arrived at the apartment her friend wasn't still there, so she left her bags in the bedroom and headed to the bathroom.

The warm shower's stream helped her to relax a bit, she became so paranoid about everything and maybe it was because she worked for the agency like Arthur's ex-wife suggested once… Gina, if she only knew what it was going on she'd have been so pleased, not for the pregnancy for sure but for the failure of her marriage with Arthur; Joan always thought she wanted him back, she was only waiting for a chance.

After the shower she checked her phone: two missed calls from Arthur, she wasn't sure if calling him back or not. At last she took a deep breath and dialed his number.

"_Joan"_

"Hi Arthur"

"_Why didn't you answer before?"_

"I was under the shower, sorry"

"_How are you two?"_

That _you two_ made her shiver.

"We're fine, the gynaecologist called this noon, test reports say we're both fine"

"_I'm glad to hear it"_

Silence.

"_I miss you Joan, I'm here in our bed and your side is empty and cold and… "_

"I miss you too"

"_Come back home honey, we'll make things work I promise please"_

He was almost begging her and that sign in his voice was crushing her.

"I can't, I still didn't make a decision about…"

"_I know and I start thinking that if you don't want to take the baby I can't force you, I've to accept it even if it'll make me suffer"_

Joan felt her heart bleeding profusely. She'd have liked to tell him that yes, she was coming back and would have carried the pregnancy without thinking of the consequences but she couldn't.

"I'm sorry Arthur, I never meant to make you suffer. If I had been stronger my relapse…"

"_Don't say it, you reached that point because of me, because I suck as husband. If I didn't maybe you'd be in my arms choosing the name of our baby"_

Her eyes streamed with silent tears, it was too much to bear.

"I've to go, sorry" and she hung up

She went to bed and curled in a ball crying until she fell asleep.

The morning after Joan decided to go the agency later and informed her husband with a text. She had a terrible sleep full of nightmares and she needed to rest more if she wanted to be productive as usual.

Before going to Langley, she stopped by a cafeteria on the way to order her double latte take-away.

She was on queue waiting for her turn when she raised her gaze and saw him, Arthur and he wasn't alone, there was a woman she didn't recognize at the beginning but then, watching carefully, all became clear: she could change her hairdo but was definitely her, Arthur was having breakfast with his ex-wife Gina. He looked tired and down while was talking to her and she was staring at him, a fake sad expression on her face, she was playing the "little nurse" for sure and that jerk of her husband probably was telling her everything about their situation. He passed a hand through his hair tired and in that moment she lifted her arm and caressed his cheek. Joan turned to stone watching the scene from afar: he didn't do anything to stop that gesture, he simply closed his eyes as if that touch was all he needed. It hurt more than anything, it hurt in a irreparable way.

At last she had to admit it: he needed someone like Gina, a trophy wife ready to ask "how high?" every time he told her to "jump", a wife ready to pack the luggage and move to China or elsewhere without a blink and not a strong and few obliging woman who challenged him, a complicated woman with demons like she was. Maybe Gina would also have given him the child he seemed to want so much, Joan could almost picture them… she felt to vomit so turned on her heels and left the cafeteria as fast as she could, she couldn't see more, she didn't want to.

She shouldn't have made important decisions while she was upset and hurt but she did it anyway, took her phone and called her doctor

"Morning doctor Stern, it's Joan Campbell"

"Morning Joan, how are you today?"

"Fine, I made my decision... it has to happen as soon as possible"

"Are you sure it's the right choice for you?"

"I am more than ever"

"Okay, let me check if there's a place at the clinic today" She held the line for some moments "Yes there is, 1 pm?"

"Perfect"

"Okay see you later"

"Yes, later"

It has been like a simple exchanging of information, that was the strange thing, she didn't feel anything deciding the non-future of her baby, only the emptiness. _It has to be this way_ she said herself walking numb through the agency's hallways.

"Auggie"

"Goodmorning Joan"

"You're in charge today"

"Am I what? Why?"

_Because_ _I've to go having an abortion_ she was about say "Because…" she bit her lip "I'll have the morning briefing about new ops or other emergencies but then you'll take care of everything. No questions" The good thing to be the boss, she didn't have to give explanations to anybody.

And she did what she said. Annie was sent to Budapest to get information from an asset, easy operation with low risks, the national security was under control and she had a lot of paperwork which could wait for another day.

She headed to the garden going to sit on the bench in front of the fountain. She was finally alone finding a moment of quietness in the middle of the "circus" her life had became lately, she did need that silence spaced out only by the water's noise. Joan was staring at the drops which slavishly fell down the fountain's bottom, they didn't have any choice to do otherwise just like her or it was what she kept saying to herself.

After what she has seen at the cafeteria that morning, she didn't have any doubt, she had to let Arthur free, free to have the life he wanted without her, she was a ball and chain and the will he showed to fix things with her was only due to the sense of guilt. Without the baby it'd have been easier for him to hate and take the distances from her, she was making things easier for everybody.

_Pling. Pling. _Drop after drop she stayed there seated like an empty sack and minutes became hours before she realized it was time to go, to come back to that awful reality.

"Beth, I'll be out for two hours or more and I do not want to be disturbed for any reason. Auggie is on charge, if something comes up you can go to him"

"Okay and if Mr. Campbell needs you?"

"Just tell him I'm not available"

"But…"

"No buts, that's all" she turned on her heels and went away

Entering the clinic she felt that nauseous sensation she always had in hospitals, Joan hated them, they were no places for her… her thoughts were interrupted by Doctor Stern's arrival. She was the kind of woman always nice and approachable, she greeted her and took her to the room.

"So Joan, you can find here your gown," she smiled "Please undress and lay down the table, I'll be right back"

Joan simply nodded. She unzipped her sheath black dress placing it on the chair and took her panties off wearing the white gown. She did like the doctor said, she lied down the table and widened her legs… she closed her eyes for a moment biting her lip. _I do not have to cry_ she said herself _Keep calm Joan you can do it_ but the panic didn't seem to listen and came back to visit her, she tried to breathe slowly, in and out but she couldn't; her gaze fell on medical instruments next to the table: plastic pipes, aspirators, syringes. Her eyes filled with tears, she imagined her baby to be sucked by those pipes and…

"I'm back" doctor Stern said closing the door behind her

**In the meantime…**

Arthur Campbell came down the second floor to meet his wife. He didn't get any news from her since that morning when she texted him she'd have arrived later to Langley, of course no objection from him, she was carrying his baby and her rest was a priority, more than work for sure.

"Hello Beth" he greeted politely "Where's my wife?"

"Well Sir, I don't know"

"Excuse me?"

"She left 40 minutes ago without telling me where she was going. I tried to ask but she shut me up saying Auggie Anderson's in charge and she didn't want to be disturbed for any reason"

"Auggie Anderson? I didn't know anything. Did she tell how long she'd be out?"

"Two hours or more"

"Thanks Beth"

Arthur dialed his wife's number but there was the answering service. He practically burst into Auggie's office.

"What's going on?" he yelled "Where's my wife?"

"Hello Sir"

"I'm not joking Auggie!"

"I don't know more than you, Sir. She just told me I was in charge for today and simply disappeared"

"Track her phone"

"What?"

"Just do it!"

Auggie tapped on his keyboard and waited for some moments before reaching the signal.

"She's at the Memorial Clinic, 11204 Harvey Road, Washington DC"

Arthur took a second to realize what Joan was doing there and stormed out of the room.

He dashed off Langley driving to Washington as fast as he could. All his speech about respecting her will if she decided to interrupt the pregnancy were bullshits, he realized that, he didn't want to lose them, none of them, he'd have fought no matter what, no matter his wife's objections. He just needed to hurry, he pushed down the gas pedal zipping through Virginia's streets.


	8. Chapter 8

**The waiting is over guys! The new chapter is up! Enjoy and review!**

Arthur arrived at the clinic without worrying to park the car and entered the building in a rush. All the story with Joan passed in his mind: the first time he saw her eyes, their first mission, their first time they made love, when he decided to leave Gina for her and that shocked look on her face – he was so madly in love with her he couldn't spend another day without her – the day he said "yes, I will" and it felt like forever, a promise from the heart, their honeymoon, the first fights and make up sex, the laughs and the tears, her accuses of infidelity, the nights on the couch and in their bed again holding her in his arms, the jealousy, the doubts about _her_ fidelity, her confession, the pregnancy news, when she left him to stay at Auggie's and at last that moment, when maybe she…

He was about to ask for Joan at the reception when she saw her coming from afar: she was sobbing trying to control the tears, she was terribly upset and he dreaded the worst.

"Joan"

"Arthur," she said surprised "What are you doing here?"

"What are **you** doing here?"

_Silence._

"Tell me it's not too late" he begged

"It is not, I couldn't do that but it is for us" she answered passing him

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"I saw you with Gina this morning"

" It was just a breakfast, nothing happened"  
"She touched you Arthur and you didn't push her away! You liked that touch, her caress, as if it was mine but it wasn't!"  
"You're overreacting, it was nothing"  
"You know what? You deserve her, you need someone like her and I realized it seeing you two together"  
"You're just upset for what was about to happen, I can't believe you're lucid enough to tell me that"  
"Trust me I am!"  
"So I should accept your words when you've been the first to meet your former lover secretly?" He asked angry  
"This is not about Seth"  
"It also is! The way we deal with these kind of things can't be different for you!"  
"For me? You're the one who decided to go to the hotel before my blackout"  
Arthur seemed surprised.  
"You thought I wouldn't have found out? So don't dare to tell me we deal with things differently when it's about me!"  
"Joan please"  
"I'll carry the pregnancy because this baby doesn't deserve to pay for our problems and mistakes but from now on I let you free to live your life like you want and with who you want"  
"I do want to live it with you!"  
"It didn't seem like that this morning"  
Joan turned on her heels and went to car but he chased her.  
"Joan wait. We've been through very hard periods in the past, we'll do it again and there's the baby now, if you don't wanna do it for me..."  
"This is hitting below the belt!" She shook her head disgusted  
"I know but I need you, both of you"

"Arthur let me go" she jerked trying to free the arm from his grasp

"I can't, I love you" he kissed her fiercely

Joan wanted to push him away but the impulse started from the brain didn't reach her arms, instead she opened her lips responding the kiss which became more heated. They pulled out only to take a breath, Arthur laid his forehead against hers and smiled.

"This didn't change anything" she continued "I'm still mad at you"

"What can I do to make you change your mind Mrs. Campbell?" he joked

"I'm serious Arthur, I need time to reflect, indeed I'll leave Auggie's place and go to the hotel" He was about to add something but she shut him up "No, this is my decision and you'll respect it this time"

"Okay," he raised his hands in resignation "You won, do as you like"

"We need to go back to Langley"

"Yeah see you there"

Driving to Langley, Joan felt her heart lighter, she caressed her belly smiling. She made the right choice: Auggie was right, she wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to her baby, she'd have fought to get back her balance with or without Arthur. Arthur… she wasn't sure if she had the right to be mad at him after what happened between Seth and her, at least she had a reaction at his gesture which Arthur hadn't with Gina.

She sighed, she needed a break from that messy situation instead she asked for more time to reflect…

Once Joan was back at work, she went to talk to Auggie.

"Joan, where have you been?" he asked worried "Arthur stormed out from here looking for you, he made me track your phone"

"I know, he found me"

"Is everything okay?"

"Not really but it's gonna be okay"

"Joan…"

"Thanks for before, Arthur's not easy to handle sometimes"

"When it's about you… sometimes?" he joked

"Yeah sorry" she laughed "And I also wanted to thank you for the hospitality and the support but I'm moving to a hotel"

"Are you sure? You can stay, no disturb"

"I know and it's nice of you but I need some time alone, things became even more complicated between Arthur and I"

"I understand, well you can always count on me, you know that"

"Thanks Auggie"

Her stomach growled and Joan remembered she didn't have lunch and not even breakfast, she was starving, so she went buying a bagel and her usual double latte before coming back to her office.

Sitting in her chair and eating in silence, she kept thinking of the events happened few hours before: she wasn't stupid, she knew well her choice to carry the pregnancy would have had consequences and she couldn't say she wasn't scared but it was her baby, her baby girl… Arthur still didn't know she found out the sex, their conversations didn't leave much space to talk about good things lately.

After her bagel she put a huge pile of paperwork in front of her and started working…

**On the 7****th**** floor…**

Arthur came back to Langley happy and relieved, Joan and the baby were fine, she needed more time yes, but he was sure everything would have been okay, they'd have fixed their issues.

As soon as he seated in his chair someone knocked the door.

"Come in"

"Sir, I got something"

"Bill… is it about what I asked you?"

"Yes Sir" he answered passing him a folder "They're about last night"

When Arthur opened the folder his world crashed down: he flipped through the photos watching disgusted and furious that bastard of Seth Newman kissing his beloved wife. The more he watched those shoots the more he got enraged…

"Sir, is there something else I can do?"

"No, leave me alone Bill!" he hissed

As soon as the guy left the office, Arthur couldn't contain himself anymore and with a single stroke he threw everything that was on his desk away groaning. The head of DCS tried to cancel the desperation and the fury from his face, his hands were shaken because of rage… if he didn't calm down Seth Newman would have been a dead man soon!

A photo of Joan pushing Seth away lied at his feet, that detail went unnoticed to him before: she didn't react at the kiss, no she didn't want it and that made his fury grew even more.

He came back to his desk and dialed a number.

"Seth Newman"

"If you touch my wife again, God may have pity of you Newman!" and he hung up


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 is up! **

The slow elevator riding from the 7th floor to the DPD made only Arthur's blood boil in his veins, he was combusting. When the doors opened he headed towards his wife's office with double time, rage distorting his features, he was about to start a war.

"Sir, she's busy, she's talking to…" Beth tried to stop him but he burst into Joan's office

"Arthur I'm…"

"I NEED TO TALK TO YOU NOW!"

Joan covered the phone before answering "Just give me a moment"

"I said NOW!"

She restarted the call "Yes sorry, may I call you back Sir? Sure, goodbye" and she hung up "What's going on Arthur?"

"This is what it's going on!" he yelled throwing the photos on her desk, he stared at her disbelief look "Did you really think I wouldn't have found out, would you?"

"Arthur I can explain…"

"I do not want to hear your explanations! You wanted to leave me because of a fucking caress, what should I do now?"

"I pushed him away!" her voice trembled "He caught me off guard, I didn't imagine…"

"I know! And that's what pissed me off even more! You should have told me!"

"Last time you saw him you punched him in the face, how could I tell you?"

"You were worried about that bastard's safety?"

"Arthur…"

"Don't 'Arthur' me Joan! You're being in the wrong and you do know it! But he has been warned, if he touches you again…"

"There won't be another time"

"You bet! And you still didn't tell me what you were doing with him at that restaurant"

"I went to order dinner take-away and I met him there, he convinced me to eat together…"

Arthur's fury burned in his eyes

"I thought it was just an innocent dinner, anything more"

"Anything is innocent when it's about Newman! Don't you see? He tried to break us up in every way, he took advantage of our problems, our misunderstandings and distance and used it to bring you back to him"

Joan sighed and lowered her gaze guilty. Arthur was right and she got that too late.

"I'm sorry Arthur"

"What's happening to us?" He asked desperate "Because not even in my worst dreams I'd have imagined that"

"I don't know" she paused "Marriage is not honeymoon..."

"But it shouldn't even be..."

"Be what? Horrible? A nightmare? Is that what you think?" Joan felt hurt

"I was about to say so hard"

He looked directly in her eyes, so deeply blue that day, thinking he could have drowned in them.

"How are you?" His voice turned soft

Joan stared out the window "Fine"

"It doesn't seem"

"If you know why are you asking?"

"Because I'm worried about you, both of you"

"Don't worry, your daughter is fine" she replied harsly

"Daughter?" he asked surprised

"Yes, daughter. I found out when I run my last test but you know, you weren't in the mood for talking, remember? You ignored me!"

"And you thought I didn't want to know?" he yelled

"Whatever Arthur!"

"Who the hell are you Joan? What did you become?"

"What did I become? I became a person who's tired! I'm tired of fighting, of secrets and accusations! You think that all this stress is good to me?" her voice made louder

"I know it's not"

"And not only to the baby, but to me, to Joan the still fragile person who had a relapse!" She yelled "Do you think I had never wished to swallow a pill every time you didn't talk to me? When you didn't understand me? When I ran away from home or when I saw you with Gina? Tell me Arthur, you're a smart man"

"Joan..."

"I need a break from all this shit, I do need it! I'm gonna take few days off, don't come to me, don't call me, I'll do it when I feel to"

"But Joan..."

"No," she cut him off "This is my decision and as my boss I'm sure you'll give some days to your workaholic head of DPD and as husband you do have to respect my will!"

He nodded "Okay"

Her cold gaze told him the meeting was over.

Arthur Campbell left his wife's office defeated. He couldn't understand how it was possible going to someone pissed like hell and then going away with the situation reversed: only Joan could do that, no doubt why he married her.

Her words came back to his mind, they were going to have a baby girl… his _baby girl_. All his rage about everything seemed to dissolve at the thought of a tiny bundle with a little pink hat, a part of him and a part of Joan.

He smiled coming back to his office, how could he be mad at the woman who would have given him such a joy? Joan was a tough woman but there hadn't been a single day without he loved her with all fiber of his body, she was his everything. Arthur shook his head smiling at those thoughts, he had never been so sentimental, but he got how true it was the fact that a child tied two people forever and it was not only a matter of genetic, no matter what happened between them as a couple they'd always have shared their baby girl. There was nothing he wished more than caressing Joan's belly and hugging her in his arms… he sighed, he needed a plan to win her back, a really good one.

**Few days later…**

Who knew Joan would have been shocked about the fact she simply enjoyed past days away from work. She went out for walking and reading at the park, she slept more trying to rest and also went shopping for maternity clothes, she wouldn't be able to fit anything else soon. She often thought about Arthur but did appreciate the fact he respected her will to stay away so when she arrived at the agency that morning she felt relaxed and ready to do her duty.

She stopped by a Starbucks to buy a tea and headed to DPD where Beth greeted her and showed her agenda for the day. Raising her gaze from the leaf, she noticed a letter on her desk…

_Dear Joan,_

_First of all welcome back to work. I hope you and the baby are fine, my thoughts were with you every single moment. I've to admit it was very hard staying away from you two those past days, I missed you, I miss you…_

_We talked a lot only to yell and hold things against each other lately but the only thing I did want to tell you is that I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for what I've done and I haven't done, for not being the husband you deserve, for not understanding you when you needed the most, for not supporting you in your choice whatever it'd have been, for my jealousy, for everything._

_I know you're mad at me now and you've all the right to be but I don't wanna lose you, I love you and our baby more than anything, you're my everything and I wanna show I can be the man you deserve, the man you married, just give me a chance to prove you that, to prove you how much you mean to me please._

_I hope to see you in my office at the end of the day, I've something for you…_

_With love,_

_Arthur _

Joan sighed, she did come back to the office, she put the letter aside and focused on her agenda.

It was only when Beth asked for her permission to go home that Joan noticed it was almost 8 pm. She grabbed her coat and purse and went to wait for the elevator.

_Going to him or not going to him _she was struggling with herself hesitant. She thought of his words full of regret and love because she knew he loved her so much, she caressed her belly thinking he still didn't have a chance to do it, to "cuddle" their little girl.

The noise of the elevator brought her back to reality, she stepped in and pushed the 7 button smiling.

"Hey, you came" he looked at her removing his glasses and coming closer to her

"Yeah"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, we're fine" she smiled

"I'm glad to hear it"

She lowered her gaze.

"Joan…"  
"Shhh" she put a finger on his lips "Don't. I don't wanna talk about what happened anymore"

Joan took his hand and put it on her belly, Arthur's eye grew wider for the surprise

"Our little girl needs her daddy"

"Oh Joan" he kissed her lips holding her tight "I…"

"I love you too" she finished the sentence smiling

"I've a surprise for you"

"Oh really?"  
"Yes, are you ready?"

"Where are we going?"

"To the airport but I'm not talking anymore"

"Arthur…"

"Come and see"

He took her hand and they left the office laughing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 is up! It's a bit short but I promise I'll make you to forgive me with next ones… enjoy and review! **

Sitting comfortable on the brown chair of the CIA plane, Joan didn't stop questioning her husband but he didn't seem to be willing to talk at all.

Arthur looked so different from the man he was only few days before, his eyes sparkled, he seemed happy making her laugh with his jokes: everything seemed like it used to be before the storm that crushed their life. She gave another chance to him, to their marriage and he couldn't be more glad… he needed her, her eyes, her kisses, her voice, those little dimples she had when she smiled, he was still utterly in love with her after so many years.

The hostess served their dinner like he planned: steak for him as usual and salmon to her.

"You planned everything, didn't you?" she smirked tasting her salmon

"I did"

"The salmon is spectacular"

"I'll let the chef know"

"Thank you…"

"For what?"

"For your words, for this" she looked around

"Anything for you" he took her free hand and brought it to the lips

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope"

"Come on Arthur"

"I suggest you to enjoy your dinner and sleep"

"So it's a long flight?"

"I'm not talking"

"Well I have ways of getting it out of you…" she bit her lower lip while her foot was brushing his ankle

Arthur smiled shaking his head "You're terrific, you know that?"

"I know" she purred "And you?"

"Very well but you need to rest so don't make that face again or I won't be able to control myself"

"Maybe it's what I want…"

"Yeah sure"

Joan snorted but after dinner she followed his husband's advice unwillingly. Arthur took her in the bedroom where she found a satin nightie on the pillow, she gave him a naughty look but he was unmoving.

They crawled in bed and she rested her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, Arthur hugged her tightly finally relieved that she was in his arms again. Bad memories of her leaving home and leaving him on the phone came back to his mind, he tightened the grip a little, they have been the worst days of his life when he thought he could lose everything… Joan, their love, their baby. Arthur kissed her forehead caressing her arm slowly.

"How's daddy's girl?"

Joan chuckled and he thought it was the most beautiful sound he has ever heard

"She's fine, you know I can't feel her yet, it's too soon"

"I know. Let me cuddle her a bit" she shifted so he could caress and give kisses to her belly

She smiled looking at her beloved husband in the dim light, he was whispering things to the baby and that scene just melted her heart: he was so caring and sweet, she had no doubt he'd have been a great dad, the best their daughter could have ever dreamt.

"I wanted to do it since long time"

"I know and I'm sorry"

"Don't be. You're here now, it's all that matters" he kissed her gently "Try to get some rest now. Once you wake up, we'll be arrived"

"Okay"

"Night honey"

"Night"

Several hours later, Joan was woken up by some lingering kisses along her neck, her jaw and lips, she smiled opening her eyes and meeting those two blue sapphires she loved so much: after so many weeks she felt good, she felt loved and happy. Arthur wished her good morning with a sweet kiss on lips and encouraged her to get ready.

At 11.30 am, zone time, the Campbells left the airport riding a black BMW. Their hands entwined and she looked out the window trying to figure out where they were but apart a clear blue skin and the sun shining she had no clue.

"Arthur… where are we? You can tell me now!" she insisted

"No way"

"Please" she smiled fluttering her eyelashes

"You can't fool me _baby_"

"Don't call me baby!"

Arthur laughed loudly, he knew how much she hated to be called like that but he always liked to tease her.

"You know… you'll be blindfolded soon"

"What?! Are you kidding me?"

"Never" he tried to look serious but couldn't keep from smiling

"Forget it!"

"It's a surprise Joan, you can't ruin your own surprise just because you're curious"

"I am not"

"Yes you are and you're so adorable when you act like that"

She rolled her eyes and turned around to keep watching out the window.

"Okay fine" she snorted

When they arrived Arthur helped his wife to go out the car, her eyes covered by his tie (improvisation had always been one of his best skills…) and guided her into the hotel.

Only after reaching their room and opened the window to let her step out on the balcony, he removed the tie. Joan opened her eyes trying to adjust them to the sunlight and then she saw the city at her feet: the landscape just took her breath away, she couldn't believe Arthur did really bring her there. Her heart started pounding while she tried to drink – the more she could – of that amazing view.

"Oh my God Arthur…"

He hugged her from behind placing his hands on her belly and whispered "Bienvenue à Paris mon amour"


	11. Chapter 11

**Everybody loves Paris, how could it be otherwise? So I let myself dream about our favourite couple in the city of love! Enjoy and review!**

"I can't believe we're really in Paris on vacation and not for work"

"I know, that's why I planned this for us"

"About work…"

"It's all under control. We'll leave tomorrow night just in time to be back on Monday morning, at least I'll be back to work instead you'll take the morning free and rest"

"But Arthur…"

"Your boss already knew it" he smiled "I do not accept objections"

"Whatever" she raised her hands defeated "Well I guess we both need a shower and a change of clothes"

"Open the closet"

"What?"

"Do it"

Joan smirked and opened the closet to find several clothes he made someone buy for her under his guideline: dresses, pants and shirts all in colors and shapes she usually wore. She turned towards him with an astonished but pleased expression.

"Well now that the clothes problem is solved, I guess we can go taking a shower…" she said unzipping her dress slowly

"They told me they've amazing Jacuzzi here" he answered swallowing

"You should check…" she suggested but he couldn't take his eyes off her

Joan let her dress gliding down her body and stood right in front of him in her lingerie: his gaze fell on her purple-red lace set and those pair of thigh highs, his mouth dried out. Her wicked smile and those blonde locks graced her face, her stomach was still flat even she was almost 3 months pregnant and her beauty had something heavenly, Arthur couldn't explain what it was, she looked like a goddess with angel features and naughty inclinations. He watched her moving closer carefully like a predator which targeted the prey, she knew well the effect she had on him, he craved her, it had been way too long since the last time.

Joan took him from his tie and led him into the bathroom. Warm water was flowing filling the tub while each piece of clothing was removed and laid on the floor, she caressed his still sculpted chest leaving kisses after every touch but Arthur - who got her intention - captured her lips and helped her to sink into the big Jacuzzi. His eager hands gripped her hips pushing her on him, his lips was devouring every inch of her neck: he couldn't get enough of her skin sucking her pulse point, of tasting her lips, of touching her everywhere, she was his and only his. She bit his earlobe and whispered dirty things in his ear turning him on even more, he did can tell pregnancy was having a good effect on his wife… his hand reached the destination between her thighs making her moan loudly.

"Tell me what you want" he whispered in a raspy voice sucking her erect nipples

"You…" she groaned "Now"

Arthur was more than happy to fulfill her request, he lifted her a bit before sinking into her. Their mind went blank for a second enjoying that sweet sensation their bodies so intimately connected, she opened her eyes and pointed them on him… he realized he was holding his breath only she smiled and kissed him. Joan placed her hands at the tub's edge for leverage and started moving back and forth.

It was pure bliss. Sex had always been great since the first time, they were younger and wilder, it was true, but the passion between them lasted throughout the years, maybe it was about chemistry or that she was the one but he was still amazed by all that.

Arthur gripped her waist matching her thrusts, he was fighting to keep the eyes open, she was too breathtaking not to look at her while she was riding him: half-closed mouth, arched back and tossed back head. She sped the pace and he knew she was close, soon her body trembled in his arms and he sank the face in her hair coming with his wife.

Joan kissed and nipped his Adam's apple and he sighed satisfied.

"They were right: this Jacuzzi is amazing!" he joked and they both laughed

Joan still couldn't believe they were really in Paris. Of course she had been there a lot of times but she never had time to really enjoy the city, to smell the magic air you could find only there, in the capital of love. She smiled thinking to be so sappy but she was feeling like smitten teenager walking down the streets hand in hand with her husband.

May in Paris was always a good choice, days were often sunny and hot like that noon when a soft breeze made her light dress flying.

They decided to play the tourists and took subway, last time they did it maybe they were still going to school, pretty much a life ago. From their hotel on _Les Champs-Élysées_, they headed to _Charles de Gaulle - Étoile_ stop changing the number 1 with 7 once they reached _Palais Royal _stop.

Joan knew the city very well but she couldn't imagine where Arthur was bringing her and he refused to talk of course. He seemed so relaxed and comfortable in his casual clothes, no matter his age he was still a very handsome man who didn't go unnoticed to women of all countries and she couldn't avoid to be a little jealous even if she knew she didn't need to be, the way he looked at her… it's not something that could be easily replaced.

Only when they came back to surface Joan recognized the place.

"But this is Île Saint-Louis!"

"Sure my dear"

"And…?"

"Wait and see"

They crossed the _Pont Marie_ bridge and walked down _Rue des Deux-Ponts_ until _Rue Saint-Louis en l'Île_.

"Berthillon?" she asked excited

"I knew you wanted to come here since long time so…"

"Thanks!" she kissed him and entered the store

_Berthillon_ was a producer and store of luxury ice-creams and sorbets, the most famous in the city with the most delicious refinements and Joan wanted to try this amazing ice-cream everybody talked about but never had the chance to do it every time she was in Paris.

"So that's what vacations are for?"

"Apparently yes, relaxing and doing whatever you want"

"Like tasting this unbelievable ice-cream, I think the baby likes it"

Arthur laughed "Yeah sure"

They walked down the little streets of the isle until they reached the end and stayed like that watching the Seine flowing quietly. There was an incredible sense of peace: the river's noise, the light wind, Arthur hugging her from behind… and for the first time she felt herself again as if every piece of the puzzle was coming back to their place.

After a long walk and the visit at _Notre-Dame_, they came back to the hotel but the surprises weren't still finished…

"Arthur…"

"Yes?" he answered from the other room

"What… Oh my God!"

"I guess you found the gown I made you buy for tonight…"

"Arthur I…" he watched her features changing from shock to pleasure, to happiness and shock again, he couldn't keep from laughing

"I know"

"Do you know whose this dress is?"

"It's yours, I bought it for you"

"It's not what I was saying!" she squealed "It's an _Elie Saab_ good Lord"

"Yeah our financial crack gave me some suggestions…" he joked lying in bed, hands behind the head watching her amused

"I can't believe it! And what this is for?"

He smirked without answering

"Another surprise? You're spoiling me, mister" she purred kissing him

"You're totally right"

"Is there anything I can do to return the favour?"

The way she posed the question sent chill to his spine, he just stared at her, they were capable to understand each other with a blink

"Maybe later, you've to get ready for your surprise"

"Okay, I'm going to take shower, feel free to join me" and she let her dress fall heading to the bathroom

**2 hours later…**

Arthur, already dressed, was on the phone pacing back and forth in the suite's living room, Joan could hear his frenzied talk from the other room.

Staring at herself in the mirror, Joan seemed proud and satisfied fixing her blonde locks tied in a side ponytail. Lapis blue sequins embraced the whole dress's lenght until the mermaid hems, the boat neck left her wide shoulders bare and a thin belt slightly nipped her waist.

Arthur did things in style, with gown she also found a wonderful pair of nude Jimmy Choo pumps and a nude calf leather Saint Laurent clutch.

She admired herself a little longer and then reached her husband in the other room… Arthur almost lost the grip on the phone when she appeared.

"You look absolutely stunning"

"Thanks to you"

"Thanks to the hotel's personal shopper, you might want to thank her… and I might too" he grinned

"God bless women!"

"And their husbands' wallets"

"Yeah" she laughed "Are you sure I'm not overdressed?"

"No at all, the car is waiting for us. May I?" he asked extending the arm

"Sure Mr. Campbell"

"I love when you call me like that"

"I know" she kissed him

Zipping through Paris's streets Joan couldn't avoid to drink all the beauty, the historic monuments and the blinding lights… _the city of blinding lights, _instead Arthur was simply captured by her, his gorgeous wife whose happiness was a balm of his soul, he hoped he would have always seen her that way from that moment on. The car stopped and Arthur helped Joan to get out of the cabin.

"Arthur but this is…"

"The Opéra" he smiled "There's the _Romeo and Juliet_ opening night tonight"

A speechless Joan followed her husband inside the big building.


	12. Chapter 12

**Paris… the second part! Enjoy and review!**

The _Palais Garnier_ was the official seat opera house and probably the most famous in the world, a symbol of Paris among other important monuments.

As soon as they crossed the threshold, they were hit by the opulence: multicolored marble friezes, columns, bronze busts and lavish statuary of Greek mythology. The candleholders' warm light lent a magic and mysterious atmosphere to the place and in front of them the grand staircase… Joan felt like a modern Cinderella and was very grateful her husband paid for the perfect dress she was wearing, she wouldn't have worn anything less for an opening night _à l'Opéra_.

Cherubim and nymphs characterized the corridors of the grand foyer which led to the auditorium where they showed their tickets and reached to their seats waiting for the show to begin.

Joan's smile seemed to light up all around, even more than the 7-ton bronze and crystal chandelier she was looking at stunned, Arthur took her hand and kissed it and she mouthed her thanks again.

Soon the light was turned off and the curtains lifted. They lost on the famous and consuming story of the two lovers, belonging to opposite lineages, who fell in love with each other and fought for their immeasurable love: the dancer's elegance who ruled the stage in such amazing costumes, the music and the passion, everything seemed so overwhelming in that twist of love and death still so contemporary and always touching.

"It was amazing Arthur! I've no words, how did you know…?"

"You're my wife, remember? Even if it seems I don't listen to you, I do, I always do"

She smiled shaking her head

"Let's go and get you eat something now, it's pretty late and I don't want you and my baby girl to be starved. Please madame"

He opened the door for her and turned around to get in the car.

"What?" she asked noticing his look

"You didn't ask where we're going"

"It's useless, you won't tell me"

"Smart girl"

15 minutes later they arrived to landing stage number 7 near the Tour Eiffel where a wonderful boat was waiting for them. In the middle of it a perfect table was beautifully set by candle-light and on the right, a little orchestra was playing "La vie en rose".

"Mister Campbell, Madame" the waiter greeted them "Everything's ready, we can leave when you want Sir"

"Thanks, we can do it now. This way honey" he guided Joan to the settled table and moved the chair for her

"Arthur you didn't…"

"I did" he grinned

"You booked the boat only for us tonight?"

"Guilty!"

"Paris, Berthillon, the gown, the Opéra and now this?" Joan's eyes became watery

"Hey hey don't cry"

"It's…" she waved the hand in front of her eyes to stop the tears "I don't know what to say"

She paused a second to recompose herself while he studied her a bit worried

"We've been through a lot lately, at the agency, at home, between us and I know I'm not an easy person and even if I don't like I'm not perfect." She lowered her gaze

"Joan…"

"Let me finish please. We both made mistakes Arthur, but you're doing all you can to show me you want to make this work between us and I'm grateful for that"

He took her hand on the table and squeezed it "There's anything I want more than your happiness…"

She bit her lips to keep from crying

"No more tears, okay?"

"Okay"

"Let's eat now"

The waiter opened the bottle of Champagne pouring a glass for Arthur, one of water for Joan and served the appetizers: marinated prawns, duck's _foie gras_ and truffle, salmon and vegetables with tomatoes and olives dressing and lobster with zucchinis cream.

They ate in silence enjoying the food while the boat, floating on the river, showed them the beauties of the city. Joan kept looking at the monuments which appeared on their path instead Arthur kept looking at her: she could feel his gaze caressing her face, her lips, her figure, she didn't feel so desired since long time and she had to admit she liked it.

The orchestra kept playing French music in the background making even more pleasant that evening and suddenly Arthur stood up inviting her to dance, she smiled and took his hand.

Enlightened only by candle-light, the couple was moving slowly embraced: Arthur's arm around her waist, their hands entwined on his heart and their eyes locked; he bent his head and captured her lips in a long and sweet kiss.

When the song finished, they seated down at the table again and the waiter – who already changed their plates – brought the main dishes: seabass with asparagus and sauce, veal with matignon vegetable and Périgueux sauce, beef tenderloin with mushrooms' duxelles and béarnaise sauce, duck's breast with red onion and figs and sweet-and-sour sauces.

They made small talk about the food, the city and work even if Arthur tried to avoid the matter but Joan was like that, she never took a break and going on vacation wasn't something she was used to.

_Musée d'Orsay, Pont Royal, Musée du Louvre _and_ Notre Dame _paraded in front of their eyes while they were finishing desserts.

"It's marvelous, isn't it?"

"What?"

"_Paris de nuit…_and by day of course"

"I think you're marvelous…"

They stayed in silence staring at each other for a moment

"Do you know what day is in few minutes?"

"It's our 10th anniversary" she said softly

"Exactly. These had been the best ten years I could have ever dreamt but the best has yet to come…" he turned around the table and bent on his knee "Joan, love of my life, will you renew our vows and marry me again?"

He opened the little red box revealing a sparkling Cartier's solitaire.

She sobbed a light _yes_, he put the ring on her finger and kissed her fiercely. He wiped away her tears of joy and kneeled down again to kiss her belly, she ran a hand through his hair.

"Hey baby, mommy and daddy are going to get married again"

Joan laughed lifting his chin to look at her "You make me so happy, I love you"

"I love you too"

When they came back to the hotel, Arthur couldn't keep his hands off her anymore. He watched her heading to the bedroom but before she could do anything, he hugged her from behind. Brushing her hair aside he kissed that sweet spot where the shoulder met the neck eliciting one of her moans… the mirror in front of them reflecting their images in the dim light, he slowly unzipped her dress letting it glide over her skin and down the floor.

_You're so beautiful_ he whispered nipping her earlobe keeping his gaze locked with hers. His hand, splayed on her belly indulging in sweet caresses, went down the hem of her panties and slipped inside: it was one of the sexiest moments they've ever shared, he watched her mouth parting and her eyes closing for the intense pleasure. _Watch us, open your eyes_ his words sent chill down her spine making her shudder and his hand, oh his hand was working magic between her thighs, he knew her body so well to play with her like he wanted.

When she was about to come he pulled back despite her annoyed groans; he took his time to undress her from her lingerie before ordering to go laying on bed. He was in control mood and that was so sexy, she did like he said brushing her naked body on the soft sheets, his pupils dilated on the instant, he undid his tie and grabbed her ankle to pull her towards him.

_You're not gonna see anything tonight _his husky voice almost made her come undone and suddenly all went black, his silk tie was depriving her of sight and when she lied again, all she could do was trusting the other senses. The noise of buttons flying everywhere was a clear sign of his craving like his belt that fell on the floor with his pants, the smell of his cologne went near… she was trembling for the wait, sex was always worth with him but that night she almost couldn't think straight.

Ten years before she would have never imagined to be still so sexually attracted by her husband after so much time, the feeling of expectation was the same of their first time together and it was consuming her.

She felt his breath on the skin and his lips brushing her collarbone before reaching her breasts and sucking her nipples, she moaned arching her body to brush against his bulge but he pushed her back on bed. She started pleading, she never did but all those sensations were overwhelming, too much to stand but he didn't seem to listen to her at all continuing his path down her stomach and between her legs. He left feathering kisses along her thighs, she was breathtaking being so exposed to him, so vulnerable and at his mercy, he took his time to admire her before making his move. He swirled his tongue against her fold again and again keeping her thighs down and preventing her from bucking. Joan tried to catch a breath, the sensory deprivation was so excited and the feel of her husband between her legs was just… he inserted two fingers curling them to hit her g-spot and her mind went blank and she screamed his name coming.

She attempted to remove the tie but Arthur blocked her hands above the head kissing her swollen lips and shifting himself at her opening.

_You feel so good _he whispered thrusting inside her with a steady pace, the only answer he got was her loud pants when she wrapped her legs around his waist to make him go deeper. Joan felt powerless but stirred up at the same time with her eyes covered and her hands blocked: if she had known the sex would have been so good after a nearly break-up maybe she'd have tried him before…

After the intense orgasm, Arthur freed her from the tie and they snuggled under the covers spooning. Joan glanced at her beautiful ring one last time before falling asleep in her husband's arms.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 is up! Enjoy and review!**

**6 months later…**

A very pregnant Joan paced back and forth in his husband's office. Her pre-maman black shirt caressed her swollen belly, she was eight and half months pregnant and due to delivery soon but regardless she totally refused to stay home resting.

Arthur looked at her through his glasses, she was beautiful every day more despite the inflamed ankles, the back pain or the stirring of pee.

"Arthur we still didn't set the nursery for your daughter!"

Yeah because the baby was only _his daughter_ when she was angry because of the pregnancy fatigue, he knew she was exhausted but the idea of staying at home doing anything made her freak out even more.

"Honey we still have time"

"No we don't Arthur! I'm due to delivery in two weeks, maybe before if she keeps kicking like she does"

He stood up turning around the desk to reach her, he gently put his hands on her belly.

"Everything's gonna be fine, you just have to relax a bit" She didn't answer just sighed "See? She was kicking like crazy but she calmed down now, she just needed daddy's touch"

"I meant it Arthur, take at least next Sunday off"

"Okay" he kissed her temple "But you've to promise me to stay quiet, you don't want to deliver ahead of time, do you?"

"Of course I don't, it can be risky for me and her"

"Exactly, don't make me worry please"

"Fine, I'm going back to the DPD and see if they need me"

"But you're going to leave in 2 hours"

"Sure at 6 pm as always"

"I love you" he kissed her lips and her belly  
"We love you too daddy"

Arthur smiled watching his beautiful wife going away. The past six months had been perfect, they found each other again, their chemistry, the intimacy they seemed to lose for so long and mostly he had to thank Paris: that trip was a pure blessing and if he knew he'd have brought her there before, after that it was as if everything came back to the normal. Being at Joan's side, enjoying every single moment despite her changes of mood, her being emotional or getting angry without real reasons, seeing her belly growing each day more: he could have been through the most risky situations in his life but nothing could be compared to the emotion of feeling his daughter kicking for the first time. They still didn't choose the name, he proposed a few but Joan wanted to wait the moment to look at her to decide.

They were going to be parents in few weeks and he was thrilled and scared at the same time: he wasn't young anymore and they both had a very hard and dangerous job that Joan didn't seem to want to slow down at all. He couldn't negotiate about her maternity break during the third semester but she promised to stay at home with the baby at least two months after the birth and she would have had to do that if she didn't want to deal with his fury.

He sighed and came back to his paperwork.

"So what color do you prefer?"

"What color _we_ prefer Arthur, it's not only my choice."

He had always known Joan was a control freak but during the pregnancy she also became a bit argumentative and that could be slightly annoying if he wasn't willing to forgive her everything.

"You know I don't want to paint the room in pink, it's so predictable and boring, what about lilac? Or peach-colored?"

"You mean orange?"

"No Arthur, peach and orange are two different colors!" she answered bothered "Why do you men only know five kinds of colors?"

He laughed trying not to showing, she was really funny walking like a duck through the hardware shop's aisles looking for the right dye.

"So? Lilac or peach?"

He studied her face in order to find the answer she wanted then tried with a hesitant _lilac_.

"Yeah, it was what I was thinking too"

He sighed with relief

"I heard you!"

Arthur spent Sunday's noon painting the room while Joan was reading pregnancy books. The baby seemed quiet, probably sleeping and she felt relaxed; she couldn't complain, she had an easy pregnancy, no problems, no morning sickness, nothing but she was also aware of her age. She smiled thinking of how much help she received during the past months especially from Annie and Auggie: the relationship with Annie changed much, she found her way to gain Joan's trust and forgiveness again and with Auggie they became such a constant presence in their bosses' life outside Langley.

Joan looked at the clock, they were expecting them for dinner soon and before she could even close the book she was reading she heard the doorbell.

"Hi guys, come in"

"Hey Joan" Annie and Auggie greeted

"Make yourselves at home, I'm going to find Arthur, he got lost painting the baby's room"

"Oh no no, you can't smell the dye, I'm going" Annie offered

"Okay, I'm going to call to order pizza then, the usual?"

"Sure"

After the call, she prepared drinks for them pouring a glass of juice for her.

"So how's this little one today?" Auggie asked

"She's fine, sleeping. She has been very quiet today"

"And you? You know you should stop working"

"Please don't say it in front of Arthur, he keeps bothering me"

"He's right and you didn't answer the question"

"I'm a huge walking whale but I'm fine"

"Stop it, you must be gorgeous!"

"He's right!" Arthur interfered "You're more than gorgeous!"

"Yeah, yeah he only says that because you two are present"

They all laughed

"By the way, pizza is coming in 30 minutes so let's set the table"

They were spending a lovely evening talking and laughing but as soon as Joan excused herself, the conversation changed into something more serious: Arthur wanted to be read in about Henry Wilcox. Like he promised to his wife, he didn't go to work that day but that didn't mean the work couldn't come to him… Annie and Auggie shared the latest news and developments glancing at the door in case Joan returned. All that secrecy wasn't odd at all, Arthur wanted to protect her, she was due to delivery soon and didn't need more worries; the Henry Wilcox matter was enough stressful to everybody involved and she wouldn't have been one of them. He preferred cutting the conversation saying they'd have continued the day after.

After dinner, men seated on the couch and a basketball match on tv while Annie helped Joan to tied up and clean dishes. They started talking about the baby shower Annie organized for her the week after, she invited all their co-workers, Joan's sisters and some other colleagues of her fake work at bank. She knew her boss, she wanted something elegant but not too much childish so she opted for few storks around and an ivory centerpiece. Joan already approved the invitation with the little duck – which was already sent to all guests – and the cake, everything was ready.

Annie was glad Joan let her help so much, they had their issues they managed to fix and their relationship was better than before, they were more like friends now. Joan had been her mentor since she stepped into Langley, she had been tough and authoritative sometimes but just as much Annie had been stubborn and insubordinate, they just needed to learn how to play in the same team and at last they did.

Annie and Auggie thanked their bosses for the good time and the dinner and left completely unaware to be watched by someone, someone who had a plan in mind and looked forward to carry out…


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the short chapter, I hope you like it as well! Enjoy & review **

A week later all Washington's powerful women were invited at Joan Campbell's baby shower bringing gifts and their most beautiful smiles. Everything was perfect just like the future mom wanted who welcomed and greeted her guests with Annie's help while men, "banished" from the party, were spending their time at work as usual.

Seated in the living room, the party started with light chats and food. Joan was so happy to have her three sisters there celebrating such a joyful moment, they were her family before Arthur and knew her better than anyone else, they must sense Joan's worry for the baby's coming and tried to reassure in a silent way with their presence. They knew Joan would have been a great mother, maybe a bit anxious and control freak but that was her nature and they loved her exactly like she was.

"So how's our beautiful mom?" asked one of Joan's collegue

"Tired, very tired, just another week…"

"Yeah, stay strong. Everything's gonna be fine, I'm sure of it and doctor Brown is a very good one!"

"Joanie you didn't tell us the name" said her sister Janet

"Because we still didn't choose, Arthur proposed a few names but I want to look in her eyes before choosing"

"Oh it's so sweet, I'm really happy for you two" continued the other sister Jenny

"Thanks, I'm glad you all are here today to enjoy this moment with me"

"I think it's the gifts moment!" announced Annie "They are all there on the floor, I'm taking them!"

All the guests seated around the future mom, who smiling, started unwrapping. She got a nice white and pink bodysuit with a pair of tiny socks, the diapers bag from one collegue, the infant seat and some colored bibs from her sisters, the patemm diapers changing pad from her secretary Beth, some crib sheets, other shoes and dress and the crib music box from Annie. Joan, always so controlled, kept thanking the ladies with watery eyes, nobody could avoid to be effected by hormones during pregnancy…

Suddenly someone knocked at the door and Joan got up to open letting her guests chatting and eating but when she did, she could hide the surprise on her face.

"Good afternoon Joan" Henry Wilcox greeted

"Henry, what are you doing here?"

"I heard there's a lovely party for a future mom"

"It's not funny, what do you want?"

"I guess your beloved husband is not home, otherwise he'd still be by your side protecting you as he always does"

"I don't need any protection"

"Apparently you do if he hides you things…"

"What are you talking about?"

Joan tried to stay focused, she didn't have to let that miserable bastard get in her mind and manipulate her. She knew Henry Wilcox so well to know that if he was there, at her doorstep, there was a reason and he had a plan.

"Poor _Joanie_, you don't know what I'm talking about because he kept you in the dark, again but I can't blame him, I mean you're due to delivery soon, aren't you? How's your beautiful baby?" he tried to put his hand on her belly but she pulled back in a protective way.

He laughed "For being a spy you're not so good at hiding emotions like contempt"

"I found quite impossible when I look at you. Now tell me what you want or this conversation is over"

Henry smirked "It's a pity you know, you're such a gorgeous woman but your husband can't keep his pants on, who knows how it feels being the _scorned wife_ and not the other woman…"

She froze incapable of saying anything and Henry got he hit a bull's eye.

"Goodbye Joan" he turned and left

Joan came back in, she was trembling, she couldn't breathe. Arthur couldn't do that to her, not after what they had been through at the beginning of her pregnancy, he couldn't screw that bitch of his ex-wife! She was carrying his baby and she knew she had been impossible and unbearable in the last trimester but she would have never imagined that, she didn't deserve that, not in that moment! Tears formed in her eyes and the more she couldn't breathe, the more she was freaking out, then she felt a huge pain at her stomach and looked at her feet: her waters just broke! The pain, the rage, the sense of betrayal and above all panic made her head spin, she tried to find something to held herself but failed and in a moment everything went black.

Screams and voices seemed so far from her like her head was in a bubble or under water, the only thing she did felt was pain, almost unbearable pain at her stomach which made her eyes water. Paramedics lifted and brought her on the ambulance, Annie was by her side and kept whispering reassuring words but she didn't care, she could only think of _her baby_, she couldn't lose her baby, if she could she'd have yelled at everybody to take care of her creature instead of her, they must save her!

The run to the hospital, minutes passing, the oxygen mask, Annie's words, her own heartbeat which seemed to disappear and that lump in her throat… if that was a nightmare, she wanted to wake up soon, she couldn't bear a minute of that torture anymore.

Once they arrived to the hospital, Joan was brought to the surgery and Annie was asked to wait in the lounge. She was scared for her friend, paramedics checked the baby but… that was the saddest moment of her life watching an unborn life passing away. She already called Arthur who was on his way, what would he tell him? The truth? She couldn't, she couldn't break her boss and friend's heart. Annie tried to think about the few minutes Joan has been alone, she went to open the door but nobody entered, no, she went outside… she jumped the conclusion that something must have happened because when she came back in again she felt sick all of the sudden. She was used to follow her instinct so called Auggie and told him to check cameras around Joan and Arthur's house and _kaboom_: Henry Wilcox was there.

When Arthur arrived she read him in telling about Henry and his visit during the party which maybe caused Joan's stroke and waters breaking but avoided to mention what happened on the ambulance.

Arthur was out his mind, she had never seen him like that and probably no one ever had, he could look like a cold and calculating man but when it was about Joan he simply changed, his wife was his heart, the most important thing but she was also a well-trained spy and to upset her so much, Henry Wilcox must have had a good card in his pocket, he was wondering what it was…

Time seemed to froze while Arthur paced back and forth along the room and Annie twisted her hands waiting for some news about the labial's reading from Auggie. Doctors came and went without telling them anything and each second that passed seemed to mark a new wrinkle on Arthur's face, he changed from furious to destroyed, the face of desperation with those bloodshot blue eyes and messy hair.

At last, when they almost resigned themselves to wait, a young doctor headed to them.

"Joan Campbell's family?"

"I'm her husband" Arthur stood up immediately "What happened to my wife? Is she okay? The baby?"

The doctor showed a grave expression on his face and sighed before starting to talk.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys, my story almost coming to the end… I'll post the last chapter next week! Enjoy & review! **

Annie stood up and reached Arthur in order to support him knowing well her presence wouldn't have changed anything.

The doctor was in his 30s, dark blonde hair and a pair of caring eyes that the sadness of his job didn't succeed to take off, he wasn't still very used to give bad news, she could read it on his face and that made everything more difficult.

"Mr. Campbell your wife's waters broke and she had a serious stroke, she was unconscious when she arrived here. Paramedics checked the baby's vital signs as soon as she was on the ambulance and found no pulse"

Blood drained from Arthur's face.

"The baby's heart stopped for ten minutes but after C-section we managed to restore it and save her. She's very weak and will have to stay in the incubator"

"Oh my God thanks!" he passed a hand on his face on the verge of tears "What about my wife?"

"The patient had a very serious internal bleeding due to causes we still didn't know for sure, we were about to lose her, she lost a lot of blood but she's alive. She's stable and resting now but we'll keep her under observation for some days like the baby"

"Can I see her?"

"Sure, this way"

When Arthur entered the room he felt like having a terrible déjà-vu. Seven months before, same hospital, different floors but there she was, laying in a bed which made her look like so small, so weak and that time he risked to lose her for real. He couldn't even imagine his life without her, it was too painful, too excruciating, especially now that they had a baby… _their baby girl_ who was saved by miracle!

He took a seat close to her bed and caressed slowly her hand looking at the wedding band, the ring he gave her in Paris and all the memories of their 'second' wedding came back to his mind...

_It was a wonderful Sunday of June in Virginia the day we decided to renew our vows. The air smelled like summer and that floral fragrance you use my love, your unique scent, the white gazebo was set and our guests and I were waiting for you in the garden. The moment you appeared is marked in my mind, you were simply radiant in your knee length ivory lace dress that showed a bit your obvious baby bump, your eyes – clear like water - shone in the light of sunset and your smile was the picture of the happiness, happiness I provided you and that made me so proud._

_The celebrant smiled at us and started "We're here today to celebrate Arthur and Joan, their ten-year commitment and the wish to share with you all the renew of their vows. Arthur…"_

_I took your hands in mine and smiled "Joan, my love, my heart, my everything. I vowed to love you, respect you and be loyal and faithful to you and I never missed my promise. We hadn't always had easy times but like you once told me 'marriage is not honeymoon', it requires commitment, patience, devotion and especially love. When I met you I knew you were the one, the woman I didn't know I was looking for and who was right in front of me in all her beauty. You made and make me be a better man and I'm so blessed to have you, it's how I feel every single moment of our life so today I want to renew my vow adding something: Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours"_

_When you started talking your voice trembled and your eyes were watery "Arthur, my beloved husband, I had loved you since the first moment, it wasn't easy but our story never was. We went through a lot becoming stronger than ever, we learnt to trust each other in our own way, to deal with things together as a team. You're my safe place, my rock, the big arms who hold me every night, the father of my baby, the amazing man I married ten years ago and who gave a new meaning to my life. I vowed to love you, respect you and be loyal and faithful to you and today I want to renew that promise… till the death do us apart"_

The joy of that day almost made Arthur's heart ache, it seemed so far, a memory so fragile like his Joan.

The knock at the door made him turn: Annie was there showing an apologetic smile.

"I didn't want to bother but I went to the nursery… the baby's in the incubator in the room next. If you wanna go to see her I can stay with Joan."

"Thanks"

"She's beautiful Arthur"

"I'm sure she is, like her mother" he squeezed her shoulder and left the room glancing at Joan one last time

Arthur walked slowly towards the nursery feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He didn't think he'd have meet his daughter for the first time that way, he imagined seeing her come into the world holding her mother's hand, encouraging her in the delivery room and not alone with fear and pain in his eyes. That should have been the happiest moment of their life, although…

"Hello, can I help you?" the nurse asked politely

"My daughter was born almost one hour ago"

"Oh yeah, _that_ delivery... please this way. You've to wear a coat and the baby can't leave the incubator so you can touch and caress her through the lateral holes putting your hand in the glove"

Arthur nodded. He couldn't hold his baby, all clear and devastating.

The nurse noticed that look on his face "The baby had a cardiac arrest, they keep her in the incubator for precaution, to monitor her and prevent breathing issues"

"Will she be fine?"

"We can't say with certainty"

Arthur sighed defeated.

"First child?"

"Yeah"

"Bear up sir. Babies sense everything: worries, sorrows, everything"

He nodded again and followed all the instructions the nurse gave him, then she opened one of the incubator's hole for him.

"I'll be over there if you need me"

"Thanks"

He took a seat and nervously slid a hand in the hole, he had never been so nervous in his life before.

She was so tiny, so fragile and simply perfect. Her little hands were closed in fists, she inherited her pale skin from her mother and those little blonde hair, Annie was right she was beautiful.

As soon as he touched the smooth skin of her petite arm he felt his heart exploding of joy, it was something he couldn't describe, he loved his wife more than anything but what happened in that moment, in that silent room between him and his daughter was just beyond: she wrapped his finger in her hand and he got they'd have been tied forever no matter what, he'd have done everything for her.

That was the first special moment he shared with his baby girl, Arthur smiled, the first smile during that awful day. He kept brushing her hand gently with the other fingers trying to make her feel loved and protected, reassuring her everything would have been fine, that her mother doesn't look forward to see and hold her and give her a name. All those sweet whispers seemed to have an effect on him too, he didn't know if it was her daughter's closeness but he calmed down, even the burden on his chest seemed to weigh less, she was a special tiny bundle who spread love around her just existing.

After minutes or maybe hours the nurse called him saying there was a woman outside the nursery who wanted to talk to him.

"Is everything okay?" he asked Annie worried "Did Joan wake up?"

"No, she didn't but Auggie called me"

"What did he say?"

"Henry Wilcox made Joan believe you were cheating on her with your former wife"

"What?" he yelled and Annie brought him to some quiet place where they could talk  
"He didn't say it openly, he lead her to think that, he manipulated her saying that you were keeping her in the dark again and hiding her things"

"That son of a bitch, I swear to God I kill him!"

"Arthur slow down. You can't accuse him to anything, he didn't blackmail or hurt Joan, he just spoke to a pregnant woman and the hormones made the rest"

"He did on purpose Annie and we both know it!"

"I know Arthur, I know and if I had been there maybe…"

"It's not your fault. You found her, called the ambulance and came here with her, I couldn't ask you for more"

"I love her, she's my friend"

"I know, thanks for everything"

"How's the baby?"

"She's sleeping, I don't know how long they'll keep her in the incubator"

"Everything's gonna be fine"

"Yeah, it's what I keep saying to myself"

**The day after…**

When Joan opened her eyes she couldn't quite understand where she was, she blinked few times trying to drink the space around her in. White walls, single bed, tubes and machines... She was in a hospital room. Soon the pain at the abdomen overcame her and she whined.

"Joan, love, I'm here" Arthur gently squeezed her hand and pushed the button to call the nurse

"What happened?" She asked with hoarse voice

"You had a stroke, they brought you to the hospital with urgency and you had a C- section"

Her eyes widened "The baby! How's my baby?"

"She's fine Joan, she's in the incubator but she's fine" she sighed in relief

Arthur tried to give her less information he could, if she didn't remember anything it wouldn't have been him to bring memories back.

The nurse entered the room and checked her vital signs telling them the doctor would have arrived soon, then left.

"You don't remember anything?" He asked hesitantly

"I remember the pain at my belly and the fear of losing the baby but the rest is so blurred"

"Don't stress yourself love" he kissed her forehead

She nodded "Did you see her?"

"Yeah, she's perfect Joan, a little you"

A tear slipped down her eye and he whipped it with his thumb.

"Everything's gonna be fine" he tried to reassure her "All you've to do is resting. You scared me to death, you know?"

"I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault" and a flash of anger twitched his features

"What was that?"

"Nothing"

"It doesn't seem like nothing to me"

The blonde doctor Arthur talked to the day before stepped into the room and greeted them.

"How's my patient today?" he smiled

"Sore"

"Like I assumed. You lost a lot of blood and we're cupping you" The doctor asked to her to pull her coat aside to check her wound "The surgical seams are intact, we'll keep monitoring for the next days to prevent any other internal bleeding. You need to rest Joan so you'll be able to go to see your baby soon"

"Thanks doctor" Arthur said and the man left

Arthur kissed his wife's head "Heard Joanie? You'll see our baby soon"

_Joanie…_ she mumbled and suddenly the previous day's memories came back. Her eyes widened and became watery but before Arthur could say something "You son of bitch! You're screwing your ex wife! Don't touch me!"

"Joan calm down! It's not true, Henry told you to break us, it was what he wanted!"

"I don't believe you!"

"And you believe Henry Wilcox?"

"He said you're hiding things and you're doing, I know" she was crying now "You think I'm stupid? I saw you talking to Annie and Auggie last week and you all just shut up when I entered the room"

"Listen to me, I didn't tell you because…"

"Because you wanted to protect me as always!"

"You were due to deliver soon Joan, good lord! It wasn't necessary to know that that bastard of Henry Wilcox wants us out of Langley and he's doing everything he can to succeed"

"What?"

"Yeah, he's using Annie. She made him think she gained our trust being our friend." They looked at each other for a moment without saying anything "Please believe me Joan, you and the baby are the most important things of my life, why should I ruin everything?"

"I don't know. He showed up at our door and…"

"And he manipulated you as he's so good at with people and you were highly emotional because of your condition. I don't blame you, I blame him!"

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore" she whipped her tears away "Our daughter is all that matters"

"She's gonna be fine, she's strong like her mother and she looks like you a lot"

"She's a baby Arthur, it's too early to say she looks like one of us"

"Do you know we still need to choose a name?"

"I know, I guess I was a bit busy not dying" she joked

"Don't say it even as a joke! I can't lose you"

"Oh well you won't get rid of me so easily"

He took her hand and kissed it "I love you"

"Mmm maybe I do too"

"Maybe?" he smirked

"Yeah maybe"

The atmosphere in the room was lighter, secrets were revealed and they could focus only on Joan's healing and their baby. Everything would have been fine or at least, it was they kept saying each other.


	16. Chapter 16

**Last chapter is finally up…**

Few days later Joan's conditions got better and she got the permission to leave the bed taking the necessary precautions; Arthur helped her to sit on the wheelchair and brought her to the nursery.

Since when they arrived at the hospital, friends and colleagues sent sweet cards and stuffed animals and her room smelled like fresh flowers every day. Annie was a constant presence for Joan, staying with her when Arthur had emergencies at Langley, helping and supporting her like true friends did, she knew how hard it was for her not being able to see her baby.

Seated on the wheelchair, Joan felt very nervous, her hands were shaking a little even if she tried to hide it: she didn't want her husband to see her like that, he treated her like a fragile crystal the past days, she could understand his concern but she was not about to break.

"Goodmorning Mrs. Campbell" the nurse greeted her as they entered the nursery "How are you today?"

"Much better thanks but call me Joan please" she smiled

"I'm Paula, your husband and I already met the day your baby was born"

"I know"

"He had been here all days while you were resting, it was a pure joy seeing him with your little girl"

Arthur nodded a bit embarrassed "I know you're a great father" she whispered caressing his cheek

As usual, he wore the coat and Joan gave him a confused look.

"No coat for you Joan," the nurse explained "If you want to breastfeed her, you won't need it. Now let's take your little angel. Here she is, she just woke up" Paula smiled and gave Joan that little tiny bundle.

"Thanks" Arthur said

"I leave you alone" and she walked away

The world seemed to stop the moment Joan held her baby for the first time. She tried to memorize every single detail of her: the tiny hands, the hearth-shaped mouth, the little blonde hair like hers and when their gazes met, the blue eyes, those two sapphires she inherited from her father. The baby yawned and tears of joy slipped along Joan's cheeks, Arthur squeezed her shoulder.

"She's perfect, Arthur. She's the most perfect thing we've done together"

"I couldn't agree more" he smiled

"And I guess that yawn was because of hunger"

"Maybe" he chuckled

"Can you hold her a second? I need to open my coat"

"Sure"

Arthur hugged their daughter and kissed her head smelling her sweet scent. Being a father meant so much to him, he had waited for their little baby to come all those months talking to her, caressing the belly to make her feel his presence, his love and now she was there with them: he'd have never been enough grateful to his wife for giving him such joy.

Joan took the baby again and got her closer to her breast, her little mouth closed around the nipple and started sucking. That special connection made Joan feel complete, whole for the first time in her life; she wasn't the broken young woman who had a drug addiction or the insecure wife afraid her husband could cheat on her anymore, she was a mother now, that was the most important thing and it wasn't something temporary: having a baby was like having a tattoo on the face, it was forever.

"Hey baby, it's time to give you a name, don't you think?" said caressing her head

"Yeah, what do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking… Estelle Anne Campbell" she looked at her husband "If it wasn't for Annie, all her help and support…"

"I like it, welcome to the family little Estelle"

"Welcome to the family Estelle"

Arthur took Joan's free hand kissing it and mouthed "Thanks"

"I love you"

"I love you more"

When Joan entered Estelle's room, she smiled sweetly at the scene in front of her eyes: Arthur was lying on the floor and Estelle was sleeping on his chest, they must have been playing when they both fell asleep.

Arthur was a great father, seeing him with their little girl melt her heart every time more, they got along so well, no one could deny she was really a daddy's girl.

The past twelve months had been amazing and a real challenge for Arthur and Joan, they learnt something new every day only looking at their baby: Estelle was fun, very smart and curious for her age just like her mother, the world was her exploration field where each new step or new word was a little conquer.

Joan knew her and her daughter looked very much alike, a little her who filled their life with smiles and giggles; sometimes Arthur was stunned about their similarity and he was sure it would have grown as the time went by.

They rescheduled their work hours, especially Joan, to spend more time with Estelle and Arthur got Sundays free to be a full time daddy just like that day. Parenting wasn't easy at all and having a young kid could have been even more tiring than working, Estelle kept them always so busy that time simply flew, no surprise she found her husband sleeping.

Joan grabbed her phone and took a picture. The sleeves of Arthur's blue shirt were rolled and the first buttons open, he seemed so relaxed and peaceful with that little bunch of messy blonde hair on his chest. She took the baby in her arms and put her in the crib before waking Arthur up with a kiss.

"Hey honey wake up, catering will be here in a few"

"Hey" he stroked his eyes "I must fell asleep, oh God Estelle?"

"She fell asleep too, don't worry. She inherited the sleeping genes from you" she chuckled

"Ha ha ha, not funny, I had a tough week"

"I know. I'll let her sleep for a while, you can go taking a shower and change while I finish to set the last things"

When Arthur came down, the house was lovely decorated with little purple and yellow stars and balloons, there was a sweet smell of cupcakes, sweets, snacks and other food: everything was ready.

Their little star turned one year. 365 days of emotions, joy, lack of sleep, so many laughs and fun… Estelle brought the most powerful of loves in their life, her birth created a strong and deep tie between Arthur and Joan, stronger than whatever marriage contract they could have signed.

He turned to see his beloved wife and their daughter walked down the stairs. Joan was proudly wearing a black sheath dress and one of her beautiful smiles holding Estelle, in her white e purple dress, who was playing with her mother's perfect curly locks.

"Oh my girls! You two are simply gorgeous"

"Thanks daddy" Joan smiled

"Da-ddyyy"

"Happy birthday my little star!"

Arthur took her in his arms and kissed her nose, Estelle giggled "Gifts"

"It's early for the gifts baby, all your friends are coming and after the cake you'll open them"

_Ding. Ding._

"Let's go opening the door and seeing who it is… ohh say hi to aunty Annie and uncle Auggie"

"Happy birthday baby!" Annie and Auggie said and Estelle stretched her tiny body towards her aunty to be taken in her arms

"Hi guys, thanks for coming"

"We wouldn't have missed it for any reason"

"This precious little angel and I are going to find mommy, aren't we?" Annie kissed Estelle and left the two men talking about work for sure

Joan was in the living room checking every little detail was fixed. Maternity didn't change her much, she was the same control freak, only a little more anxious when it was about her baby. She didn't think she could be able to love someone more than herself, so much to put her first of anything, to be worried of her every single moment or to stay awake the night and watch her sleeping.

The doorbell's ring distracted her from the thoughts and after giving Estelle a tweak, she went to welcome the guests and little by little all Estelle's little friends arrived accompanied by their parents.

Joan cleared part of the living room's furniture out to put in a carpet where the children could play with toys watched by the adults who could eat, drink and chat not far from them.

The atmosphere was light and pleasant: men talked about sport and politics drinking their bier and women about plans for the forthcoming Christmas holidays feeding the kids.

The afternoon passed quickly while the first snowflakes were falling down…

"I think it's time for the cake baby" Joan told Estelle "Annie can you take her a look?"

"Sure"

Joan went to the kitchen and put the "1" candle on the star-shaped cake: it was just like she designed it and expressively asked the pastry chef to realize it. She smiled to herself before lighting the candle up and coming back to the living room, everybody started singing "Happy birthday Estelle" and the little one giggled.

She was in Arthur's arms, Joan placed the cake on the table and joined them, Annie was ready with the camera to shoot the moment and their happy faces.

"Come on baby, let's blow your candle!"

Estelle smiled stretching herself to do like her father said and they blown the candle together.

"Happy birthday baby!" Joan kissed Estelle "You're mommy's little heart, you know that?"

"Mo-mmy"

"Yes baby, mommy and daddy loves you so much" Arthur smiled and hugged them both

That moment, those pictures and those smiles were all little stones on the Campbells living path. There would have been hard periods, fights and misunderstandings often due to their job and parenting wouldn't have been always easy but Estelle was their north _star_, that special light who would have kept them to the straight and narrow no matter what and watching her daughter, her husband and the happy faces of their friends, Joan knew she had it all.

_The End_

**I wanna thank everybody who reviewed and showed the love for this fanfiction! We all love Joan and Arthur and I tried to make "justice" to their amazing relationship using my imagination, I hope I made it! **

**Thanks again, Daria**


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